Bakwan Sabu

"Bakwan Sabu"

(By: Epa Mustopa)

ADEGAN 1

Drug Dealers: (pacing back and forth) "Do you have ideas? How can this illicit item be circulated quickly? "

Ujang: "I have a boss idea! ha ha ha. It will definitely be fast, easy, and sell well when circulated. Ha ha ha"

Robert: "What is your idea Jang? Don't be pretentious! "

Drug Narcotics: "Tell Jang! What is your idea? "

Ujang: "This is the boss, so that these illicit goods can be circulated and marketed easily, we must get them at the BPOM to get halal certificates. Correct the boss? "

Drug Narcotics: (Grabbing tongang hair) "Don't mess with you! Once again you talk about this your head can do me Dooor! (While pointing his finger at the head of the Ujang to form a gun. Ujang immediately fears and looks down)

Ujang: "Oh my Boss, I'm sorry I made a mistake" (while hitting the palm on my forehead)

Robert: Hahahahaha. Really stupid Jang. Sabu wants to be halal certified. Your brain is put on a snore. Ha ha ha

Drug Narcotics: "Hey! (full of anger). What is your idea Robert? "

Robert: "Look like Boss, I think we better multiply the members of the dealer?"

Drug Narcotics: "Naaah, it makes sense. Continue Bert! "

Robert: "To better motivate members, we apply the MLM (Multi Level Marketting) system"

Ujang: "Just selling herbal medicines? Hehehe "(Ujang smiled sarcastically)

Drug Dealers: "Shut up! Appreciate your friends' opinions! (Bandar Narcotics upset). "How do you do Bert?"

Robert: "Look like Boss, we recruit as many members as possible. For example, I brought a member of 1 person, then the member I brought was required to recruit more members and so on. Each member who is more senior is given a percentage bonus greater than his junior. So that every senior member can relax ongkang-ongkang kaki waiting for the Boss deposit. How is the boss? Break my idea? "

Drug Narcotics: "Where is it good? From Hongkong? That's a marketing method that is bodooooh Robert. Make people lazy to work. Heueueueueh. You two are stupid!

Robert and Ujang: "Together? Three times Boss? "

Drug Dealers: "Already, already! Now, no matter how you have to sell these illicit goods until they run out! "

Robert: "So the boss, how to sell it is up to us?"

Drug Narcotics: "Yes, what matters is that everything is sold out. Point! "

Ujang: "Are there boss specific targets? To whom do we have to sell this item? "

Drug Narcotics: "You have to sell these items to young people, maybe high school age or youth - unemployed youth who like to wander. The next target is the young men of rich people. Can children officials or conglomerates. Also distribute this item to students! Do you understand? Don't forget the artist is a potential market share! "

Robert: "Calm down the boss, we will carry out this task as well as possible. Yes, Jang? "

Ujang: "Yoyoy. But boss, we want to add a bonus? The problem is that we have become senior dealers. We are also loyal to the boss? "

The Bandar Narcotics, took the suitcase and pulled out two squashed money, to be distributed to his men.

Drug Narcotics: "Here, each one I give bonus this month is 10 0 thousand . The problem is that our sales turnover is worse this month "(While throwing two 200 thousand rupiahs in 1000s of loose notes to Robert and Ujang)

Robert: "Boss, next month our bonus is added to THR huh?"

Ujang: "Yoyooooy! Hehehe"

Drug Dealers: "All of you ask for THR! Do we work at the factory? Already, this is the item you have to sell (Bandar Narcotics provides two large plastic packs containing two large boxes). "In this plastic there are two boxes of goods should you ju al ! Come on, work? Don't be lazy! "

(After giving two boxes of goods in the drug, the drug dealer tapped Robert and Ujang on the shoulder and then left)

Robert: "Jang, it's time we split up. You share this meth to the artist, while I will seduce the student's student son. Agree?"

Ujang: "Ready. Let's go? " (Ujang steps away from Robert)

Robert: "Eiiiit, wait a minute (Robert pulls his hand and stops it)

Ujang: "What's more Bert?"

Robert: "Look, Jang, I want to give advice. Before you act on circulating Savu, you try typing on your cellphone through the Mbah Gombel machine, " How to distribute good and true methamphetamine " then you follow the instructions. Understand Jang? "

Ujang: "Ok, thanks, let's fight!"

(They both leave the place to operate)

ADEGAN 2

It was said there was a student "slang" but sometimes tacky, named Icih. He was a female student who worked diligently on the sidelines, during his spare time. He likes to cook bakwan trade

(Saturday in front of the campus)

Icih: "Bakwaaaan, Bakwaaan, Please warm up, bro, buuu!" (While sitting in the chair behind the trading table).

(Robert watches me from a distance, he is looking for loopholes to be able to enter his illicit items into the campus environment)

Robert: "Neng, sell Bakwan?"

Icih: "Yes, bro, this is at the table, it's clear that Bakwan is selling. Sorry! I'm not "selling myself!" (While giggling)

Robert: "Eh Si Eneng joked. Are you intentionally from the Bakwan sales house? "

Icih: "Aduuuuuuh! Answered no, it's a silly question. Yes, yes, I am leaving Hong Kong? "

Robert: "I mean Eneng student isn't it?"

Icih: "Well, so dooong, what is clear about it. Actually I am a sixth semester student, who is about to compile a thesis. I sell bakwan to add to my tuition fees Bang "

Robert: "Wow, coincidentally. Do you have goods for business? "

Icih: "Auwwww! Goods for business! What is that item?

(Robert while his head looked here and there afraid of police seeing, trying to remove illicit goods from pelastik)

Robert: "This is Neng? Do you want to?"

Icih: "Wow, this is my business material, Bang!"

Robert: "Yes, already, Neng , next week my brother will take the money for that item, huh! , A b ang go first. Anyway brother Neng business do'akan LANC ar ! "

CIH "Amiiin . Ok Baaaang "

(Robert departs to find the next prey)

Icih: "Not bad, there are still many bakwan today not in demand. But, the name is also selling, and sometimes sometimes it is selling less. But I have to be passionate. Not selling here, there are still many paths to success. I'd better go around the residents' homes "(Monologue)

(Icih, bring merchandise and start going around from house to house shouting "bakwan" along the way)

ADEGAN 3

(Enter a high school teenage lover named Sindi and Dani while fighting)

(Sindi ran while crying and chased by Dani)

Dani: "Sin, please listen to me first. I don't mean to hurt you, I must be responsible. But, for now you have to abort the fetus in your stomach. "

Sindi: "No. Anyway if you are not responsible, I will expose your actions to the press, so that your father's good name as "Officer" is destroyed! "

Dani: "What? Basic women are insolent! In the past, we first knew on social media. You're the first one to waste! Invite acquaintances, meet, and seduce me with intelligence. Even though I was dating Aminah at that time. Itchy woman base! (while pointing the Sindi face while furious)

Sindi: "Setaaaan. The basis of a man is equal (while hysterically and turning to point at Dani's face). Don't you become a hypocrite! I have saved you from the threat of imprisonment. When you are a party of meth and almost caught by the police, do you run into my house and I hide? "

Dani: "Don't pretend you are a whore! The nasty video between you and your ex Si Jaki is almost circulated on the internet by Si Jono. I grabbed it and burned it huh? But remember! I still had time to back it up on my cellphone, so you don't have things like this! I can just now spread your biggest disgrace! "

Sindi: "Oh, apparently someone wants to be a hero!" (While smiling sarcastically, and pausing for a moment). "Hey land crocodile! do you threaten me? Don't you think I don't have a weapon to destroy your life and your family! When I stayed at your house, from the second floor I accidentally saw your father receive one suitcase of money, surely he was accepting a bribe. I fad take the video. Hahahaha (laughing while pointing at Dani's face). I will spread it so that everyone knows that your father is a "rotten official"!

(Dani can't resist anger and he immediately slaps Sindi)

Dani: "A woman is bejad !, prak (Sindi is slapped and falls unconscious)

(Lights on the dark stage)

ADEGAN 4

In the afternoon after slapping Sindi, Dani's heart was not confused between feeling guilty and afraid of Sindi's threat. He sat in the terminal, daydreaming. At the same time Robert came looking for the prey of a desperate young man. Robert sat in the chair next to Dani

Robert: (Start asking), "Go home from school, kid?"

Dani: "Yes Om" (while holding his chin with his hand, and occasionally scratching the head that doesn't feel itchy)

Robert: "Looks like a lot of trouble again?"

Dani: "Bener Om, really bother thinking"

Robert: "You have the medicine" UBAS "you know?"

Dani: "Bener Om? I haven't used it for a long time, I just bought it for Om so I can fly and forget all the problems "

(Robert reaches into his pocket and gives a small sepu plastic with an alert face)

Dani: "How much is Om?"

Robert: "Normal price is 500 thousand"

(Dani opens his wallet and gives Robert money)

Dani: "Thanks Om, later if I need more, I want to contact Om? Request cellphone number?

Robert: "Here is Om's name card! You better be a member? Will you get a discount, buy one free three? Ok, Om, pull it out first, enjoy it! Ha ha ha ha"

(Robert finally leaves, and soon Dani leaves the terminal)

(dark stage lights)

ADEGAN 5

Monologue

Ujang: "Aduuuuuu, how come I can't sell this item yet. I could have been fired without severance. (pacing around thinking)

Ujang: "Oh yeah, I remember the saying of Robert, just to be searched on Mbah Gombel's machine. (Ujang immediately takes out his cellphone)

Ujang: "Type in how to distribute shabu good and right!" (While typing on his cellphone)

(Ujang shocked absurdly)

Ujang: "Waduuuuh, what is this? The way that your "anu" is long and big, is guaranteed to be 5 cm in diameter, 70 cm in length "

(Ujang giggles to himself, imagining something)

Ujang: "This danger is read by elementary, middle and high school children. They might be curious. It's an ad that doesn't educate! I was just as curious as an adult, 5 cm (while stretching his fingers), 70 cm long (while stretching both hands). Wow, this really messed up ads. It could be three men in the legs. If street vendors can be six feet, waduuuuuh "(while patting his forehead).

(At the time of Ujang being monologue came an artist named Rida Rhima, carrying a guitar and singing a song)

Rida Rhima: "I'm sorry, I'm still waiting for you to come to you, jreng jreng"

Ujang was shocked

Ujang: "Maas Mas, come without being invited, go home not delivered. I'm shocked Maaas "

Rida Rhima: "I am not Jelangkung Om. I can go home by myself. Hehehe"

(Ujang looks closely at Rida Rhima's face, then surrounds Rida's body as if recognizing something)

Ujang: "Is this an artist huh? I just remembered. Right artist right? "

Rida Rhima: "Is that right, Om, guess what artist I am?"

Ujang: "I know, I know. Mas, the song is always "waiting". Yes, why is the song always waiting?

(Rida immediately scratches the head with no itching and full irritation)

Rida Rhima: "What is clear is that I am lonely, unemployed, and continue to wait. In the past, when I was still a lot of jobs, hysterical people met me. Now, I take a guitar late in the afternoon when I expect street singers. Nasiiiiib-fate! "

Ujang: "Calm down, life should not be made difficult. I have medicine so that Mas can forget all the problems of life. Want?"

Rida Rhima: "What medicine is that? I just heard? "

(Ujang takes out shabu packets in plastic)

Ujang: "This is Mas, ubas? How cheap, only 1 jeti per pack! "

Rida Rhima: "Actually, I really want the medicine Om, huh, that's the stress reliever. But I don't have money, there's only this guitar. What if exchanged for this guitar? The price of this guitar is 5 million Om! Om can sell it quickly again "

(Ujang thinks for a moment, while frowning)

Ujang: "OK, deal! Take the item! That's the line-up "

(Ujang offers shabu, and Rida gives her guitar)

Rida Rhima: "Good Om, I'm home first! want to be happy with the realm of imagination! ha ha ha"

Ujang: "Ok, Greetings, success for Mas!"

(the stage lights are dark)

ADEGAN 6

The stage is set in the Village Office Room

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, and the sound of the door being opened forcefully.

Icih ran and breathed hard, brought a packet of bakwan crackers, and shouted to the village head.

CIH "Mr. luraaaah! Paaaak! Tolooooooong! "

            : "This is where the village officials are. How come, the office is quiet "

(Outside the office there were voices of many people as if they were demonstrating and shouting "We want to tell you, Icih! We want to tell you, Icih! We want to tell you, Icih!"

(The lurah comes out of the toilet and holds his stomach)

Pak Lurah: "What's this? What is wrong?"

Icih: "Anu pak lurah, outside of many people who were demonstrating!"
Head of Village: "What demo? I'm not corruption, why are the people on the demo? "

(When I was chatting, there was another voice shouting from the community "We want bakwan Icih! We want bakwan Icih! We want bakwan Icih!)

Icih: "That's the lurah, they shouted like that from before and chased me. I'm afraid, they all want me. This blast is cute! But isn't it Mira? "

Pak Lurah: "Is that Mira?"

Icih: "Owned by friends. I don't want to be owned by one person "(while being flirtatious, small)

Pak Lurah: "Hey, Icih! Don't budge you. Try listening to the right one! they don't want you, they say 'want bakwan Icih'. This isn't right, I myself have to get rid of those demos that are rich. "

Icih: "Oh, bro!"

(The village head immediately looked out and shouted at his people)

Pak Lurah: "You People of Rata Langsa Village, Go Home! Don't like demonstrations that aren't clear! I, as a village head, have acted according to government regulations. I distribute Raskin evenly, health services are done evenly, development facilities are built evenly. What else do you want? "

(Pak Lurah finished talking, the stage lights were dark and there was a shout, "Less Ajaaaaaar")

The stage light lights up again.

The lurah looked wet half-body flooded by the demonstrators who continued to rage

Pak Lurah: "Edaaaaaaah, my people are really crazy. I as a leader is not respected. They dare to throw and flush my body until it's soaked "

(came back the sound of the door being banged loudly as a shout shouted "We want bakwan Icih")

Icih: "Sir, let's run away. The people are increasingly rampaging! "

Pak Lurah: "Let's run away from behind. We have to go to the police station, to avoid doing anarchy! Come on, Cih! "

(Icih and Pak Lurah leave the stage)

The stage returns dark for a few seconds

ADEGAN 7

The stage is bright again, with the background of the room in the police station. A police officer with the rank of AKP was seen sitting in a chair.

Head of Village and Icih entered the room

Pak Lurah: "Good afternoon, sir!"

Icih: "Hi, Police!"

AKP Nono: "Good afternoon, there is something I can help! Please, sit !"

(The lurah and Icih immediately sat in the chairs available in front of the police table)

Pak Lurah: "Here is Sir, Introduce I Head of Village in Rata Langsa Village. I want a report that there has been an anarchist demonstration in front of Pak's village office "

Icih: "Yes, sir, the police officer, sir, the village head got watered and thrown by the people
!"

Pak Lurah: "At first I was in the toilet, suddenly there were women who asked for help. I was shocked and came out. It turned out that the one who asked for help was Miss Icih. He was being chased by the people, whatever they wanted, which they clearly shouted "We want bakwa Icih! 3x. I have tried to calm the people, Eeeh I was thrown and washed with water by them.

AKP Nono: "Miss Icih? Miss Miss Understand the intentions of the people who asked and called 'We Want Bakwan Icih'? "

Icih: "Look, Mr. Police, I'm selling Bakwan. Since I use new salt from someone. The Bakwan that I made was very hard. Sales in a day reach hundreds of thousands. Anyway, my artificial bakwan is very popular with people. (Flirty). Then this morning I made another bakwan, but the salt was almost gone, so it made it in a small amount. I was surrounded by people lining up wanting to buy. And, after the bakwan runs out, the people who do not miss actually go berserk and chase me. There I feel sad! "

AKP Nono: "Continue Miss!"

Icih: "I immediately ran to the kelurahan office and asked Pak Lurah for help"

Pak Lurah: "Yes sir, it's more or less like that!"
AKP Nono: "Miss Icih, do you still have the customers you sell?"

Icih: "There is a police officer. But this is for me for lunch. I don't sell the same with the police! "

AKP Nono: "Look, lady. I must check the bakwan as evidence. Please give me Miss! "

Pak Lurah: "Icih don't embarrass you tea. Quickly give the bakwan! "
Icih:" This is the police officer! "(Thrusting a plastic package containing a container of rice and bakwan)

(AKP Nono immediately calls his men via his telephone)

AKP Nono: "Brigadier Adin, please enter my room immediately!"

(Enter Brigadier Adin. With a sturdy body and pay respect)

Brigadier Adin: "Ready and, I'm facing!"

AKP Nono: "Please check the bakwan in this plastic in the Lab! I suspect there is a substance in the drug "

(The village head and Icih were shocked to absurdly hear the explanation from AKP Nono in his subordinates)

Pak Lurah: "Waduuuuuh, Tewaaaaas, Iciiiiiiii, you are a tea, why are you all drug dealers. Really embarrassing the area! "

Icih: "Noooooo. Hysterical. My police officer is just a girl who knows nothing. I am not a drug dealer or terrorist. Don't arrest me, Please !!! "(Icih immediately leaned over at the foot of AKP Nono, begging not to be arrested)

AKP Nono: "Who wants to catch Miss? Please! Pak Lurah and Miss Icih calm down first. We are waiting for accurate results from the bakwan examination from the laboratory "

(When they are talking, enter Brigadier Adin)

Brigadier Adin: "Report And! Positive Results!

AKP Nono: "What is Positive?" (While looking at Miss Icih)

Pak Lurah: "Youraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa * sonr! Hayo admitted! Who are you positively pregnant with? Destroyed my reputation because of you! "(While holding both shoulders Icih was like telling while forcing talk)

Icih: "Noooooooooo!" (Icih shouted and fainted)

(The stage returns dark for a few moments)

ADEGAN 8

One day later, in front of the blue campus where Icih went to college. AKP Nono and Brigadier Adin disguised themselves in their thugs to arrest Robert the Drug Dealer. These policemen use Icih as bait to lure Robert out. Icih as usual shouted selling Bakwan while sitting in the usual chair where he sold.

Icih: "A warm bakwan, delicious bakwan, who wants to buy. Only five hundred, light prices make your stomach comfortable! "

(Robert came wearing a hat, and a fearful and careful gesture)

Robert: "Neng, where is the money? Bro, did you promise Neng last week? "

Icih: "Calm down first, bro, let's eat the bakwan first. If it's for brother and sister, give free love! "

(Robert who is hungry is happy)

Robert: "Really? It's free for brother? "

Icih: "Oh, God forbid. I am not for sale! My period is practically free! Heu! "

Robert: "Sorry, bro, bro." (While taking bakwan and eating it in a hurry chewing because of hunger)

Icih: "Enjoy!"

(Suddenly Robert stuck his tongue out and breathed hard because of the spiciness of eating bakwan. Icih deliberately put chili in his bakwan)

Robert: "Aiiiir, he asked aiiiir. Spicy, huh, Aaaaah, huuuh, Aaaaah "

(At that time the police immediately acted by arresting Robert from behind)

Brigadier Adin: "Shut up you don't move!" (Brigadier Adin with the help of AKP Nono immediately handcuffed Robert and led him to the police station)

CIH "Horeeeee, I bebaaaaas!" (CIH screaming)

AKP Nono: "Miss, please come with us to the police station?"

(Icih's happiness and happiness immediately disappeared. With disappointment Icih left the place and followed the steps of AKP Nono to the police station)

ADEGAN 9

The setting in the Police Station is sitting with the lurah with an anxious heart. He fears things that are not desirable for Icih as his citizens.

Pak Lurah: "Hopefully the police and Si Icih are safe. If anything happens, I will be ashamed as Lurah "(Monologue while sitting, sometimes standing)

(Enter the police while taking Robert as a suspect)

AKP Nono: "Put the suspect into custody!"

Brigadier Adin: "Ready and! (While taking Robert back / off stage)

(Icih immediately yells and runs away)

Icih: "Mr. Luraaaaaah!" (Ran and hugged the village chief)

(immediately take the glass of mineral water on the table and pour it on Icih's face)

Pak Lurah: "Hush, Sadar Ciiiih. This is tea not Indian film! "

Icih: "Iii. Pak Lurah is like that person, there's no romance! "

AKP Nono: "Head of Village, Miss Icih! I thank you profusely. We managed to catch new types of methamphetamine dealers thanks to your help. We will develop this case so that the bookie can be arrested! "

Pak Lurah: "You're welcome sir. However, I hope help from the father to socialize about drugs to residents in Rata Langsa Village. I hope sir. The problem is very clear that the public is very common about the form of drugs. Do not let things like Miss Icih who thinks shabu as salt "

Icih: "Yes, sir, police, we need knowledge about drugs. Waiting for the arrival of the police officer in the village. Later Icih treats original bakwan, not bakwan sabu. Hihihihii "

AKP Nono: "Insha Allah, we will set a schedule for the socialization of drug knowledge, because it has become our task and program"

(Icih and Lurah finally say goodbye to shake hands with AKP Nono)

Head of Village and Icih: "Thank you sir, we beg you to leave!"

AKP Nono: "Please!"

(The stage is dark again and the show is over)

FINISHED